Affirmation
by Starchick
Summary: I don't usually write stories like this, believe me....it was just a kind of spur-of-the-moment thing. Please tell me what you think, okay?


  
This is my first serious Cardcaptors fanfic, so I'm not exactly sure how I did. Well, just  
read it and judge please, kk? Um, it does get kind of depressing (just a little!) in some  
areas. The fic goes with and is named after the song 'Affirmation' by Savage Garden  
(they're the best). Well, just enjoy, ok? Thanks!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
AFFIRMATION  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Hey  
More than angry words I hate the silence  
It's getting so loud  
Well, I want to scream  
But bitterness has silenced these emotions  
It's getting hard to breathe  
  
  
  
~Savage Garden- Hold Me  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
******Flashback******  
  
  
  
~Normal POV~  
  
  
  
"So what is there to do?" Meiling complained, throwing her arms up in the air. "I'm so  
bored, we've already done everything there is to do around here."  
  
Madison rolled her eyes, supressing the urge to yawn. "Meiling, that's your attitude on  
everything. You know, we could go to the park, the fair, the zoo..."  
  
Meiling didn't say anything for a while. Madison glanced back over her shoulder at 2 more  
of her closest friends. Meiling's complaining hadn't been the only ongoing thing that  
afternoon.  
  
The voice of her best friend floated forward to her, as she said something to Li Syaoran,  
her other good friend. Madison listened worriedly to the "conversation", if that's what it  
could be called. Their voices were rising, each had an edge to it.  
  
Meiling could hear them too, even though they were a few feet farther down the sidewalk  
then she was. "What are they doing?" she asked Madison.  
  
Madison looked at her. "I don't know what they're talking about, but I get the feeling it's  
about to get dangerous. Maybe we should-"  
Before she could even finish her sentence, things really broke loose.  
  
Furious, Sakura pushed Li, hard. He pushed her back. None of the other 2 were sure who'd  
started it, or who started to hit who first.  
"Stop it you 2, what's going on?" cried Madison, running over and pulling Sakura off of Li.  
Meiling ran over to Li and tried to pull him away. "Li, are you okay? Are you hurt?"  
  
Li gave Sakura a final push, sending the Clow Mistress stumbling back. "God Sakura,  
sometimes I just really hate you! I don't see how anybody can stand you!" he shouted.   
Sakura regained her balance and glared at him, and if looks could kill....  
  
"Well, I hope you don't think the feeling isn't mutual," she screamed back. "Believe me, it   
is. I don't know how I was ever able to stand you! I hate you too!"  
  
Then there was a heavy silence. Madison released Sakura, as Meiling did the same to Li,  
both stepping back in shock, waiting to see what would happen next. The anger seemed  
to be gone from Li's eyes, although he was still meeting Sakura's flaming expression.   
  
Sakura broke her gaze finally, as she whirled around and ran away.  
  
  
  
******Flashback Ends******  
  
  
  
~Li's POV~  
  
  
  
That had been 5 days ago, almost a week. Now, as I entered the classroom, I could see  
Meiling talking to Madison at their desks. Sakura wasn't there yet. Duh. The girl was only  
on time to school about once a month.  
  
I walked over and sat down at my own desk, giving a half-hearted wave when the other  
2 girls greeted me. Staring out the window boredly, I waited for class to start. About 4  
more minutes.  
  
I found myself feeling somewhat relieved that Sakura wasn't here at the moment. Ever  
since that day, we hadn't spoken a word to each other. The others could practically see  
the tension as it continued to pile up and get thicker. I felt like it was choking me.  
  
For the millionth time, the memory of what had happened raced through my mind again.  
The words that seemed to have changed everything.  
  
The bell rang, and at that exact moment, Sakura ran through the door, taking off her  
school hat. I watched as she came over and sat down, making the same gesture I had  
when people said hello to her.   
  
And of course, as she had the past 5 days, she sat down in her seat, without even   
turning to me or saying hello, the way she always used to, even if I didn't respond to her.  
I pretended not to even notice her presence. Meiling leaned toward me. "Li, are you   
okay?" she asked quietly. I nodded.  
  
Madison seemed to be really uncomfortable. She looked so relieved when Rita came over  
to us, her backpack jammed full of stuff. "Are you guys ready for the geography field   
trip?" she asked.  
  
I simply shrugged, as Sakura, Madison and Meiling nodded. The entire class was going on  
a field trip to the Usako region, for something in our geography unit. It was supposed to  
be a full day thing, and we were going to be on the bus for a lot of it.  
  
"I wonder who Mr. Terada will pair us up with," Madison wondered. The teacher walked in  
and ordered everyone to sit in their desks, as he began to call attendance. Then he  
ordered silence.   
  
"As you know, the geography field trip is today. The bus is arriving in 15 minutes, so I  
ask that you all sit patiently until that time. I have to go over the rules with you, and  
assign you your partners. Number one, nobody is to go off on their own, without telling  
anyone or taking your partner with you. You may sit with whoever you want, but when  
we are on the hike, touring the fruitlands, or the canal, you must remain with your  
partner at all times. Everyone knows that, right?"  
  
The class nodded, and Mr. Terada continued. "Okay, no goofing off is allowed on this   
trip. Remember, you have to take notes on everything I tell you that is important,   
because you'll be writing a report on it. And make sure you are on the bus when you're  
supposed to be, since we don't want to leave anyone behind." He paused and glanced at   
his watch. "Alright, I'm going to pair you off now. Listen carefully who you're going to be  
with, and when your names are called, go sit with that person." He reached for a clip-  
board and began reading out a list of names.  
  
"Chelsea, with Zachery. Nikki with Meiling..." While he continued reading the names, the  
kids all got up to go over to their partners. I kind of tuned out, until he called Sakura's  
name.  
  
"Sakura, with Li..." My eyes went wide, as I felt my blood run cold. No way, I thought.  
In front of me, I could see Sakura stiffen. Meiling and Madison were giving us both  
uneasy glances, but that was the last thing on my mind.  
  
I couldn't believe it. Now I was stuck with her for the whole day? Uh oh. That was pretty   
much the only thing that came to mind.   
  
I saw Madison and Sakura looking at each other. Madison's face clearly revealed how  
awkward she felt at the moment, even she could feel the tension that was rapidly building  
up, but Sakura's face was unreadable.  
  
Meiling glanced at me, obviously worried. I knew my face was a blank as well, but inside,  
it felt like every emotion in creation was churning. Dread, anger, longing, they were all  
there. What are we going to say to each other THIS time?  
  
Mr. Terada finished off pairing the rest of the class up, just as an announcement came  
over the PA system, reminding us that the buses were in front of the school. As everyone  
began grabbing backpacks and jackets, our teacher kept shouting out last minute orders  
as he herded us outside.  
  
On the bus, I found myself sitting next to Zachery. I greeted him as I pushed my   
backpack under the seat. He sat down next to me, as cheerful as always. A few minutes  
after the bus began driving off, Chelsea and Nikki turned around in their seat and began  
talking to us.  
  
Or should I say, to Zachery. I didn't say much, I just spaced out, looking at the window  
and watching the city glide past as we rolled out of town. It was comforting to just  
listen to the others talk and not have to say much. An image of a auburn haired, emerald-  
eyed girl popped up in my mind's eye, and with it came the now-familiar rush of cold, grey  
uncaringness. Then came something I hadn't expected. I guess I could classify it as  
sadness, but that wouldn't really explain even half of it.  
  
Zachery turned to me. "Li, what happened between you and Sakura?" he wanted to know.  
I pulled myself out of my daze and looked at him. "Huh?"  
  
"Li, something's definetly happened," Chelsea chimed in. "I've never seen Sakura act this  
way to you before."  
"I don't think I've ever seen her act this way to anyone before," said Nikki.  
"Act like what?" I murmured emotionlessly.  
  
"The way she's been ignoring you," Zachery supplied. "And another thing..the looks she's  
been giving you. Like she's angry, but something more.."  
I kept my gaze down. "It's because she hates me," I told them casually. I didn't even  
need to look up to know the way they were all glancing at each other.   
  
But I did look up when I felt someone's gaze on me. And of course, it was her. Our eyes  
caught each other, and the tension built even more, almost sparking. It was only for a  
split second. Then she glanced away, turning back to Madison, Rita and Meiling.  
  
"I don't think she hates you, Li." Zachery's voice broke through my reverie. "That's a  
pretty strong word."  
"What exactly DID happen between you 2, anyway?" Chelsea demanded. I sighed and  
looked up. "If you really want to know, maybe you should ask her. She can probably   
explain it better than I can."  
  
Nikki muttered something that sounded like, "Not a chance." I didn't really catch it. In   
any case, I was glad when we drove by some factories near the Usako Fruitlands, and  
Mr. Terada told us to write notes about natural resources.  
  
  
  
~Anonymous POV~  
  
  
  
The time was coming closer. Almost here. Soon.....very, very soon, would be the time  
to strike. The perfect time to unleash itself. When neither of the guardians suspected a  
thing.  
It saw a vision. A vision of children. 2, in particular. It studied the girl, with large, green  
eyes and auburn hair. So that was her. That was the Mistress of the Clow. She didn't  
seem like anything incredibly special. But apparently, her powers ran deep. Well, she was  
the main obstacle, anyway.  
  
It studied the boy. Dark hair and amber coloured eyes. The descendant of Clow Reed.  
They said his powers ran deep as well.   
  
But after all, they were children. It didn't see what all the other cards saw that was so  
special in them. Well that would change. Very, very soon. Closer than anyone would  
suspect.  
  
But it would only work if she didn't show up. Would she? That was the only hesitant  
point......  
  
  
  
~Li's POV~  
  
  
  
The dreaded time had come. It was time to get off the bus, so we could hike up  
the Usako Peninsula. The bus was supposed to meet us at the top. Nobody was really  
looking forward to it. Well, I didn't know about everyone else, but there was more than  
one reason I wasn't looking forward to it. We would have to stay in partners.  
  
I got off the bus behind Zachery, deciding to leave my bag inside. It was going to be  
hard enough to walk up the peninsula without carrying any extra weight. Apparently, I  
wasn't the only one who made that smart choice. It was also obvious that other people  
were a lot more determined about this whole thing. Like Chelsea, for one. And Sakura.  
  
I closed my eyes and tried to calm down. I shouldn't be so babyish, I told myself. This  
wasn't going to kill me. And besides, I was supposed be able to handle anything.  
When I opened my eyes again, Sakura was next to me. I could feel her glancing at me,  
but she still didn't say a word. And her expression was still unreadable. But I don't think  
I was one to talk, I would bet anything that mine was the same way.  
  
"Remember to stay on the path," Mr. Tereda directed us. "And be careful not to get lost.  
It's not as if this peninsula is huge or anything, but we don't want to spend extra time   
looking for people. It's understandable if you happen to take a wrong turn, since it comes  
out in the same place anyway, but it would probably take longer, and there is some   
dangerous footing. Good luck, everyone."  
  
Zachery ran over to Chelsea, as everyone began heading up the dusty path. Sakura  
walked up in front of me, so I didn't have much choice but to follow her. It wasn't as  
if I was really paying much attention anyway. Gradually, the sounds of the others faded  
away.  
  
Which just made the silence even louder than ever. The only sound that could be heard  
was our feet crunching against the dead leaves on the path, and the occasional call  
from some kind of bird. Sakura would stop now and then to take a note on something.  
She still wasn't saying anything, her eyes a blank.  
  
I clenched my fists in the pockets of my jacket, squeezing my eyes closed. I couldn't  
stand it. A rush of pain swept through me. How did we let this happen? I wondered. I  
didn't even remember what had started this in the first place. The silence. It was   
deafening, like a thick blanket, suffocating me.  
  
"Li." I opened my eyes in surprise at the sound of her voice and looked up at her. I could  
swear that there was a hint of curiousity in the her large green eyes. It didn't matter, it   
was gone in a second.   
  
She pointed down through the trees. "We have to go that way," she said. "The path's  
buried beneath too many leaves and stuff, so that's the best way."  
I glanced at her. "Are you sure?" I demanded skeptically. It wasn't really my fault, it just  
came out that way. And besides, I wasn't too sure about her choices.  
  
Sakura narrowed her eyes at me dangerously. "Yes, I am sure, Li," she said flatly. I should  
have stopped the conversation right there. The explosives were already in place. But  
maybe it was just a reflex or something. Or maybe I really was mad at her still. Anyway,  
I set the explosives on fire. "You'd better be right about this."  
  
Sakura pulled out a map and shoved it into my hands. "There! Any more questions?" she  
demanded hotly. "God, Li-"  
"Listen Sakura-" I shouted, then cut myself off, looking at us. I was glaring at her angrily,  
my hands tense at my side. She had her hands clenched at her sides, and was staring  
at me. Her eyes were smouldering, now a dark green.  
  
And neither of us had to say it. It pretty much said it for itself, without words. She hated  
me, no doubt, and she thought I hated her too. And that just made the pain even worse.  
Now there was just silence.  
  
I pushed my way past her. "We've got to go," I muttered. After a moment, I could hear  
her footsteps behind me.  
  
We made it out at the top of the peninsula without speaking another word to each other.  
Not even daring to look at each other. Across the field was the bus, waiting for us. Mr.  
Terada, as well as some kids who'd already made it there, were just sitting around the   
field. Everyone seemed flushed and tired.  
  
"Hey, glad to see you guys finally made it back," said Rita, waving as we approached.  
"So how did you guys do?" asked Mr. Terada.  
Sakura and I glanced away from each other. "We did okay..I guess," murmured Sakura.  
Her voice was strained.  
  
Zachery pulled me aside while Sakura went over to Madison and Rita. "Things didn't really  
go 'okay', did they?" he murmured knowingly. I shrugged, refusing to look at him.  
Chelsea knew anyway. "You 2 got into another fight," she sighed. "What is going on? I  
mean, I'd expect it from you, Li, but Sakura almost never loses her temper."  
"Then I guess I really pushed her over the edge," I muttered.   
"What did you say to her in the first place?" Chelsea wanted to know. I shrugged again  
and leaned back. "I don't even know anymore."  
  
Lunchtime was even more tense, at least between me and Sakura. Of course, the others  
had to drag me over to eat with them. We stopped in this incredibly small town that you  
could walk through in about 20 minutes, and Mr. Terada told us that we could eat any-  
where, as long as we were back on the bus by 12:50. The others had decided that we  
should have lunch at the picnic tables by the harbour. I've never really been one for  
scenery, but it was a nice place.  
  
The others talked, and it wasn't as if I was mute the whole time, but the tension...it was  
still there, always ever-present. Everyone could feel it, but I don't think they were letting  
it get to them. Or if they were, they were doing an excellent job of hiding it.   
  
I stared out at the docks, and the boats on the lake, not really paying attention to the  
conversation. Once again, I felt someone's eyes on me, and I looked up, expecting   
Zachery or someone, about to ask me what I was thinking about. Instead I found myself  
staring into 2 pools of emerald. I held Sakura's gaze for about half a second, and then  
blinked, breaking the spell. I looked away, my face flushing in embarressment, anger, and  
about another half million emotions I couldn't describe.  
  
"Where do we go after this?" Meiling wanted to know.   
"The next stop is a quick drive through the Usako Wetlands, then we go to the canal.  
After that, we just go back to the school," explained Nikki, looking at her schedule.  
"By that time, it'll probably be 3:00, so when we get to school, I guess we'd just go   
straight home," said Madison.  
"Not us," Chelsea told her, looking at Sakura. "Sakura, we've got cheerleading practice  
after school, remember?"  
"Oh yeah..right," murmured Sakura slowly. She didn't seem to be paying too much   
attention either.  
  
Rita checked her watch. "We'd better get going," she announced, standing up. "We've  
got 8 minutes to get to the bus, which happens to be on the other end of the town.  
We threw out our garbage and marched back through the town toward the field that the  
bus was parked in. Almost everyone in the rest of the class was already there.  
  
I sat down again, Zachery settling down next to me. Again, Chelsea and Nikki were in  
front of us, and again, I wasn't saying much while the others talked. I glanced out in  
Sakura's direction. She didn't seem to be talking much either, her face was as expression-  
less as before.  
  
I turned away, not being able to stand looking at her. I couldn't stand all this. How did  
we let this happen? I thought. I'd always thought that Sakura was able to understand  
me. It seemed as if all that had just slipped away 5 days ago. I closed my eyes, feeling  
the pain. It hurt. It hurt worse than anything I'd ever felt before. How long was I going  
to be able to hold out like this? With the 2 of us showing each other exactly how much  
the other repulsed them, when all the while trying to watch our mouths for the words  
we let out.   
  
"Li, you shouldn't do this to yourself," said Zachery from next to me. I opened my eyes  
and looked up at him, trying to act indifferent. "What are you talking about?" I demanded.  
Zachery held my gaze. "You know what I'm talking about," he replied. I shrugged and  
turned away. "It's no big deal," I told him uncaringly. "If she wants to keep acting like it's  
that time of the month, it makes no difference to me."  
"You know you're not the only one whose being hurt by this," said Zachery. I was silent  
for a moment. "I know," I said finally. "It's making you guys really uncomfortable. I'm  
sorry, but it's not really my fault." I paused. "I'm starting to think I should just forget this  
whole thing," I said quietly, turning to look out the window. Everyone was finally on the  
bus, and we'd just left the town behind.  
  
I could feel Zachery's look still on me, I could tell he was puzzled. Because he knew as   
well as I did that I wasn't talking about forgetting the argument. It was already too far  
gone to simply do that. But he didn't know exactly what I meant. I doubted he'd ever  
find out. Meiling would, though, if I told her.  
  
The bus drove through the Wetlands, and we all had to take quick notes on what we'd  
observed. I was glad for something to write down, so I wouldn't have to spend too much  
time alone with my thoughts. They were getting dangerous to my health, emotionally  
anyway.  
  
The only part I was really going to find hard was when we got to the Usako Canal, which  
was coming up closer and closer. I would be stuck with Sakura again, and obviously  
things hadn't exactly gone well the last time I'd been with her. It was starting to feel  
like torture whenever I was around her, a thought that was awful to accept, but   
painfully true.  
  
We got off at the canal, where we had to walk up to the highest balcony in the tourist  
building area to see the boats pulling into the canal. It was all pretty boring, but Mr.   
Terada said that it was an important part of the region's economic system.  
  
It wasn't as bad as I'd thought it would be, especially since Zachery and Chelsea, and  
Madison and Rita came along with Sakura and I. The 2 of us didn't say a word to each  
other, but the conversation of the others disguised it well. It still hurt, though.  
  
After the tour of the canal, we were allowed to go into the tourist building to get a  
souvenir if we wanted one. I didn't really care about it, but Zachery insisted that I come  
with him to get something, so he dragged me into the store. I just wandered around   
while I waited for him to choose something. I found myself looking at the display of  
birthstone teddy bears that were there.   
  
I checked my watch, wondering what time we had to be back at the bus. I was about  
to walk away from the display when someone else stepped up to it. Again, for the 3rd  
time that day, I found myself almost face to face with Sakura.   
  
We just stared at each other for a second, then she broke her gaze. "Hello Li," she said  
stiffly, looking away. I wasn't looking at her either. This was getting really bad.  
"Hey Sakura," I responded just as coldly. I walked away, figuring that I'd better leave   
before a somewhat civilized conversation turned ugly, as it was bound to sooner or later.  
  
God, that had been really hard. I don't think I can keep taking this too much longer, I  
thought as I approached Zachery, who'd just finished at the cashier counter. "Ready to  
go?" I asked. Zachery nodded. "We've got to leave anyway, we've got about 5 minutes  
till we have to get on the bus."  
  
When everyone was back on the bus, it rolled away from the canal, heading back east.  
Mr. Terada reminded us to finish up any notes we might have missed, since we were  
going back to the school. Finally. It seemed like this field trip was going to be endless.  
Endless torture, that is.  
  
I think I fell asleep on the ride back to the school. Well, at least I wasn't the only one.  
The last thing I remembered seeing before I fell asleep was Sakura, already asleep. I  
guessed that maybe we were both emotionally exhausted about this whole thing. Anyway,  
I know for a fact that Madison, Meiling, and Chelsea fell asleep too.  
  
The bus pulled up in front of the school just a few minutes after Zachery shook me awake.  
A lot of the class stood up and stretched, while Mr. Terada told us to get our things  
organized.   
  
When we filed out of the bus, the teacher told us that we could just leave right away, if  
we didn't have anything to get or drop off in our lockers. I just took off for home right  
away. I knew that I just couldn't stay around the others too much longer.  
  
  
  
~Normal POV~  
  
  
  
Kero was just relaxing lazily on Sakura's bed, playing a video game, when he suddenly  
got a strange premonition. A chill ran down his back, as he glanced around. Something  
was not quite right.  
  
Kero turned off the TV and slowly, carefully, floated through the house. It wasn't that  
he was nervous he'd be seen; there was nobody home. But he was getting a feeling....  
a feeling that he shouldn't have been getting.  
  
He found his way to the basement, and he flew toward the Clow Book, which was hidden  
carefully. As he approached it, the feeling grew even more intense. He was sensing  
something, in the vicinity.  
  
Kero reached out and touch the book. He felt a slight tremor beneath his paw, and   
could instantly tell that the Cards were sensing it too. And it wasn't good.  
  
He grabbed the book, and, with much effort, manage to drag it up to Sakura's room. But  
when he got there, he dropped the book in the doorway in surprise. "Yue."  
  
Yue was sitting in the middle of Sakura's bed, staring at him. Kero approached him. "You  
felt it too, didn't you?" he asked.  
Yue nodded. "Yes. And it is exactly what you suspect it to be. It seems that we have  
missed a Clow Card. 2, in fact."  
Kero stiffened. "You don't mean that it is...." he trailed off.   
  
Yue nodded, confirming the idea. "Yes. That's who it is."  
Kero closed his eyes. "I was hoping that Sakura wouldn't have to face off against it,   
ever," he murmured.  
"You know, she is a lot stronger than you think," Yue told him.  
"I know that," replied Kero. "It's just that...you know that this is something far more  
extreme than what she's ever faced..."  
  
Yue sighed. "Well, there is no question about it. It's the Doom Card. I never thought it  
would show up..."  
Kero glanced at him. "Okay. Well, has it's counterpart shown up anywhere?" he asked.  
Yue shook his head. "I haven't sensed the Angel anywhere around. But it's usually   
supposed to always be nearby it's counterpart." He paused. "You know we're going to  
have to tell her as soon as she gets back."  
Kero sighed, but seeing he had no other choice, he agreed.  
  
  
  
~Li's POV~  
  
  
  
I still couldn't stop thinking about her. About it. It didn't matter how far I was away from  
her.  
And it still hurt. It was incredibly painful. The argument flashed through my mind one  
more time.  
"God Sakura, sometimes I just really hate you!"  
"I hope you don't think the feeling isn't mutual! I hate you too!"  
I clenched my eyes closed, trying to ward off the memory.  
  
I leaned against my bed, burying my face in my arms. "Why?" I whispered. "Why did I  
have to say that?" Why did it have to happen anyway? There were a lot of whys. And  
I thought a lot of things. Like why couldn't we ever keep our tempers in check (mine  
anyway). And why it was so hard to be around her now. And why I'd fallen for her. Why,  
when I knew she could have any heart she wanted, she'd just had to take mine. I dug  
my fingers into the sleeves of my jacket, feeling my chest tighten. I knew I couldn't go  
on like this much longer.  
  
There was a knock on the door. "Li? Are you alright?" called Meiling from the other side.  
"Can I come in?"  
I sighed. "It's okay Meiling, the door's open," I called back.  
  
Meiling poked her head through the doorway, then came in, shutting the door behind her.  
"Li? Are you okay?" she asked. "You're missing soccer practice down at the school. Some  
of the kids on the team asked me where you were, so I had to tell them that you were  
feeling sick and came right home. I'm not sure if Zachery believed me, and I don't think  
Madison did either." She studied me. "But I wouldn't say it was a complete lie. You are  
feeling kind of sick, aren't you?"  
  
I looked away from her. "I guess...I'm fine," I murmured, hearing how phony it sounded.  
Meiling heard it too, and she came and sat next to me. "You're not fine," she insisted.   
"It's that whole thing with Avalon, isn't it?"  
"Not really," I began, but then cut myself off. "Well, maybe it is..."  
  
I could feel Meiling's eyes on me as she looked at me closely, realizing. "It's really hurting  
you, isn't it?"   
I nodded, feeling the tears threaten to build up in my eyes. I squeezed them closed,   
willing the tears away.  
"I didn't realize you cared that much about her," Meiling murmured. I leaned back. "Neither  
did I, to tell you the truth."  
  
"Well, Li, it's going to get better soon," said Meiling comfortingly. "Don't worry."  
I gave her a look. "I don't exactly think this is going to blow over, Meiling," I pointed out.  
"If it was going to, it would've already done so." I remained silent for a moment, then  
spoke up again. "I'm starting to think that maybe I should just forget about all this."  
Unlike Zachery, Meiling knew exactly what I was talking about, and her eyes went wide.  
"But Li, you can't," she protested. "It's just a silly argument, that's no reason to leave.  
And besides, I want to stay. We still have that play we're all doing in the drama club."  
I shook my head. Meiling is nice and all, and one of my best friends, but sometimes, she  
can be really naive. It was one thing that she and Sakura had in common.  
  
"You don't understand, Meiling," I sighed. "It's like...it's become so awful. We can't even  
stand to be around each other anymore-" I cut off, not being able to go on. How could  
I explain the way I felt? Even I didn't fully understand it yet. How could I explain the way  
I felt the silence suffocating me, until I just wanted to scream? It was next to impossible.  
  
Meiling stood up, her face set in determination. "I swear, Li, everything is going to be   
okay. I promise," she told me. "Just stay here, I'm going out, okay?" She flounced out of   
the room.  
  
I just stared after her in skepticism, wondering what she was about to do. But I didn't   
have time to think about what kind of stunt Meiling was going to pull. Right then, I sensed  
something I don't think I should have been sensing.  
  
  
  
~Sakura's POV~  
  
  
  
"Sakura?" Chelsea asked, studying me with curiousity. "Did you forget the cheer?   
Remember, 'Fight, fight, do it right, goooo team!' You're the one who made it up."  
  
I turned my gaze toward her, blinking slowly as I drew myself out of the depth of my   
thoughts. "I'm sorry, Chelsea, I guess I just zoned out there," I said apologetically.   
Chelsea shrugged. "It's okay. It must be about that fight thing you had with Li."  
"Huh?" I stared at her with a bored expression. "Oh come on, Chel. Li who? Besides, if he  
wants to be a jerk, I'm not going to spend a single moment thinking about him. I'm okay  
now, let's do the cheer again."  
Chelsea smirked at me. "Okay, whatever you say Sakura," she said uncertainly as we  
both went over to the rest of the squad to continue the practice.  
  
Okay, I admit it. I'd lied. I was thinking about Li...a little. Or maybe not so little.  
What I couldn't figure out was why I was feeling so guilty, so awful about this whole  
thing. It wasn't as if I'd done anything wrong. Well, I wasn't even sure what the fight  
had been about anymore. That kind of happens when you're too busy concentrating  
on the aftershock.  
  
I tried to keep my mind on the practice. Luckily, it was almost over. I climbed to the top  
of the pyramid the other cheerleaders had made, posed for a minute, then did a flip off,  
landing in a split. The others all gathered around me as we did our finishing poses.  
  
Madison applauded from the sidelines, where she was videotaping us, at the insistence   
of Chelsea. "That was a great routine, you guys," she told us, stopping the tape.  
Chelsea got up and made a gesture, signalling that practice was over. Everyone went  
over to the benches and began grabbing towels and water bottles. I took my bag and  
my bottle and walked over to Madison, Rita, and Chelsea. Instictively, I glanced over  
at the soccer field, where the team was practicing. My eyes searched the field for a  
certain brown-haired boy, remembering how I'd always waved to him during his practices  
when I was cheerleading. It was neat to see how he'd blush and turn away. All that had  
been less than a week ago. But even though I wasn't talking to him lately, I still looked  
for him on the field. Though why I did, I didn't know. It hurt seeing him, and made me  
wonder why I'd said all that to him in the first place. As if it wasn't bad enough every  
other second of the day.  
  
"He's not there, Sakura," said Madison from behind me. I turned around, pretending to  
be confused. I'm not sure how well that came off. "Uh, who's not where, Madison?"  
She saw right through me. "Meiling told me that Li went home because he wasn't feeling  
well." She paused, then added casually, "She was lying."  
  
I eyed her warily. "Madison, what are you talking about?" I demanded. "Number 1, I wasn't  
looking for Li. Why would I? Number 2, if Meiling thinks that he's sick, then he probably  
is. She wouldn't lie."  
  
Rita broke in then, considering. "Well, I'd say he is feeling sick, just not by the simplest  
terms."  
Chelsea looked at me. "You 2 have got to stop this. You're really hurting each other,"  
she said.   
Now I was confused. What did she mean by 'we were hurting each other'? Well, of course  
I was feeling really bad about it, but it was simple to see that Li didn't give a care one  
way or another. With the cold look he was always giving me, the blank stares, the  
heavy silence, the anger in his voice whenever he talked to me, I didn't see how anyone  
could miss it.  
But it hurt. More than anything. And I just hated the whole thing.  
  
I felt Chelsea's gaze on me. "It's not the way you think it is, Sakura," she said quietly.  
I glanced at the others, but they were talking to the other girls on the squad. "What  
do you mean?" I asked nervously. Chelsea glanced away. "I've just got this feeling. Li  
seemed pretty normal on the bus today, well, as normal as he could be with everything  
going on. But Zachery told me that Li was definetly not okay. It's all just a mask, he's  
hiding it all inside him. And if that's the case...well, he can't hold out much longer. He's  
going to break. No one can hold out through something like this, especially considering..."  
she broke off.  
  
I blinked at Chelsea, trying to register her words. Then I just shrugged. "Well, if it's just  
an act, it's a pretty good one. And anyway, he deserves to be hurt too." I almost  
covered my mouth, realizing I'd let slip that this was hurting me. I quickly went over to  
Madison and got the 2 of us out of there, before Chelsea discovered the meaning behind  
my words.  
  
I know Madison was studying me the whole time we were walking down the street, but  
I didn't really care anymore. I'd already been studied enough that day. It was like I was  
some kind of lab specimen. Why couldn't everyone just leave me alone?   
  
But inside, I knew I didn't want to be left alone. At least when I was with the others, I  
didn't have to spend too much time thinking about this thing. And I'd rather have them  
all questioning me nonstop about what had happened than be alone with my thoughts.  
  
Madison finally turned her gaze away, looking up the street. "Oh hey, look, it's Meiling,"  
she exclaimed, waving. I glanced up at Meiling. "I thought she went home with Li," I   
murmured.  
"Hi Meiling," Madison greeted when Meiling stopped in front of us. I gave a weak wave to  
her. "How's Li?" Madison continued. "Will he be okay for the drama club meeting this  
evening?"  
Meiling was quiet for a second, she seemed to be considering how she should answer the  
question, while looking uneasily at us. Well, I wouldn't say it was uneasiness, but I wasn't  
sure what it was.  
  
"He'll be okay...I hope," she murmured. Madison looked at her. "Well, that's great. Except  
he's not really sick, is he?" she demanded. Meiling nodded slowly. "Not exactly sick, but  
I know he'd rather be facing any virus than feeling what he's feeling right now."  
  
I didn't even need to ask her what she meant. I knew. And I felt the anger start to rise.  
"I wish you would quit putting the blame on me," I said angrily. "It's not like I was the  
only one who had something to do with it!"  
Meiling blinked, stunned, and stared at me. "I didn't say that, Sakura," she snapped in  
annoyance.   
"It's what you implied," I replied. "Everyone seems to think that it's my fault that he  
won't even talk to me, that he keeps giving me all these cold looks-"  
"Sakura, would you get over yourself?" Meiling cried. "You're not the only one who's hurt  
by this! Li feels just as bad as you! And this is all over some stupid argument? You know  
what, I think he's thinking of-" She cut off abruptly.  
I could feel the tears threatening to show themselves, and I knew I had to get out of  
there fast. "No," I muttered bitterly. "He said he hated me. And I...said it back." Choking  
on the tears, I pushed my way past both of them and ran.  
  
Meiling glanced at Madison. "I don't think I handled that very well," she murmured. All the  
annoyance was gone, in it's place was sympathy and worry. Madison nodded slowly.   
"Let's give her a few minutes to work it out, then we'll follow her."  
  
I raced down the street, taking the familiar roads back to my place. It was a good thing  
I could get there if I was sleepwalking, because I might as well have been doing so. The  
whole way there, I was trying furiously to swallow my tears, refusing to let any of my  
emotions show through.  
  
I shot through the front door of my house, slamming it behind me. By this time, I'd calmed  
down as much as I possibly could. Immediately, I sensed that something was wrong.  
First off, the eerie silence in the house gave me a hint. Where was Kero? I couldn't hear  
the TV on upstairs. 2nd, I just felt that something wasn't right. Just my Card Captor 6th  
sense, I guess.  
  
I slowly walked up the stairs and quietly made my way down the hall to my room.   
Cautiously, I pushed open the door. "Kero?" I asked quietly. Then I gasped.  
  
Kero was there, all right. But he was in his Guardian Beast form, Cerberus. And standing  
next to him was Yue.  
"Yue?" I asked, shocked. "Guys, what's going on?"  
Cerberus glanced at Yue, then turned back to me. "Well Sakura, it turns out that we  
haven't exactly captured all the Clow Cards," he told me hesitantly.  
I cocked my head in confusion. "What are you talking about?" I wanted to know. "I   
thought there were 53 cards."  
Yue shook his head. "There are 55. The other 2 made themselves known just today."  
"Haven't you sensed anything?" Cereberus asked. I thought for a moment. "Well, I did  
get this wierd feeling just now..."  
Cereberus nodded. "We've sensed it for a while now. So has the kid, apparently. He called   
a few minutes before you got here."  
  
I stiffened at the mention of Li, but right now I had bigger problems. "Okay, so which  
cards are they?" I demanded. "We can run out right now and capture them, so that way,  
I can make it to drama club tonight."  
Again, Cereberus and Yue hesitated and glanced at each other before responding.  
"Sakura," began Yue slowly. "This is one of the most dangerous cards of them all. The  
Doom Card."  
I felt a wave of uneasiness. "Doom Card?" I echoed.  
"Clow Reed made a type of error when he created it," explained Yue. "It was created in  
evil, while it was created with an angelic counterpart. The Angel Card."  
"The Doom Card is extremely dangerous," Cereberus continued. "While the other Clow  
Cards won't intentionally harm you severly, this one plays for keeps. And it takes pleasure  
in that as well. This is going to be your toughest battle, Sakura."  
I nodded slowly, actually feeling glad that Li was going to be there too. This Clow Card  
was starting to scare me a little, and I hadn't even met it yet.  
"So...has the counterpart--the Angel card--been found yet?" I asked. Cereberus shook  
his head. "The Angel Card has always been the hardest card to sense. And it's always  
been a mystery, even I don't know anything about it."  
  
The doorbell rang, and we all turned in surprise. "It can't be Dad or Tori, they wouldn't  
bother to ring the bell," I reassured the other 2 as I headed downstairs. I swung open  
the door to find Madison and Meiling.  
"Hey Sakura, we came over to see how you were--are you alright?" Madison demanded.  
I guess she saw the worry etched in my face.   
"Well, I wouldn't exactly use those words," I muttered. "Here. Kero can explain to you,"  
I told them, leading them up to my room. I know they were both really shocked to see  
Cereberus and Yue in the middle of the room. I let Cereberus explain things to them.  
  
"Does Li know?" asked Meiling in alarm.  
"Yes, he sensed it," Cereberus told her. "He's meeting us at the park."  
"We'd better go," I said, grabbing the Clow key from inside my drawer. "Wait," Madison  
cried, grabbing the phone. "Can I just call my van over here, so you can get a costume?"  
I groaned, as Cereberus sighed. "Madison, does this really seem like the time to do this?"  
Meiling demanded in annoyance.  
  
Madison had already finished the phone call. "They'll be over here in less than a minute,  
I swear," she told us.  
Yue got ready to leave out of my window. "This is a test you'll have to do on your own,"  
he told me carefully, looking pointedly at Cereberus. Cereberus sighed, then transformed  
back into his teddy-bear form.   
  
Madison glanced out the window that Yue had just disappeared out of. "The van's here,  
Sakura," she told me. "Let's go!" She, Meiling, Kero and I flew down the stairs and out the  
front door.  
  
"Come on, Madison!" Kero called impatiently as Madison searched through the outfits in  
the van. "Got it!" she cried, pulling me into the van and closed the door. She directed  
me as I got dressed in it. I didn't really look at it, which was out of the ordinary for me,  
but the way Yue and Kero had put it, this was going to be really hard. I wasn't exactly  
worrying about what I would wear.  
  
Madison pulled me back out of the van and looked at me, along with Kero and Meiling.  
"What do you think?" she asked. I glanced down at the costume. It looked like something  
an Arabian dancer would wear, but it was black-coloured. It seemed appropriate, anyway.  
  
Meiling looked me over with a strange expression on her face. "Well, at least it isn't as  
wierd as some of the others," she supplied.  
"Oh thanks," replied Madison sarcastically.  
"Um, you know girls, sometime this year would be very much appreciated," said Kero, his  
impatience growing.  
Taking the hint, we all sped down toward the park.  
  
  
  
~Normal POV~  
  
  
  
They were coming. It could sense them, and see them. They were almost there.  
It looked at the auburn haired girl. The Clow Mistress. That was it's goal. If it could  
eliminate her, it would be truly free.  
  
Simple, no? It knew better. It knew about the Mistress's powers. It knew that it had  
to handle this carefully.  
  
But for more reason's than one. It gave a sort of sigh, as it took a look at itself. Doom.  
That was it all over. Condemned for eternity to darkness. Destined to cause pain and  
suffering to all others, in order to somewhat quench its own.  
  
And that was life, from its perspective. Pain and suffering, and then you died or were  
captured. That's it. And nothing else mattered, or cared. Always, it was on its own.  
  
It had become accustomed to the meaning of life. There was no denying it. It was evil.  
Plain facts. What else was there to be in a life like this one?  
  
It was said that it's counterpart was it's complete opposite, and lived in a world much  
different. For that, it resented it's counterpart, although it had never met it. The Angel.  
That's what it was. Clow Reed must have made some serious mistake for a creature like  
it to have the Angel as a counterpart, or so it always thought.  
  
Well, there was no time to think about that. They all were here, including that dark-  
haired boy from earlier in the day. It was time to let the usual torture drills begin.  
  
  
  
~Li's POV~  
  
  
  
The Card was in the park. The Doom Card. Kero had already pretty much informed me  
all about it. I knew it had been the result of a miscalculation on Clow Reed's part.  
Kero flew over to the bushes, gesturing for Madison and Meiling to follow him. "You guys  
better hide," he told them, then looked at us. "You know you guys have to do this on  
your own, right?"   
  
"We know, Kero," Sakura told him in a strained voice. I glanced over at her. She looked  
more than just a little nervous. I wasn't entirely sure if it all had to do with the Clow  
Card. When she glanced at me, I just scowled and looked away, forbidding myself to  
show any of my emotions except anger.  
  
"Let's just capture this thing and get out of here," I muttered, heading in the direction  
that I was sensing the Clow Card. Behind me, I could hear Kero reassuring Sakura that  
he would be right in the bushes, and that he and the other 2 girls would be able to see  
everything.  
  
We walked to a clearing. The feeling was getting stronger. "Can you feel it?" I asked  
Sakura, for the moment forgetting that we were on nonspeaking terms. Apparently, she  
forgot too. "Definetly," she replied. "It's super strong now." She raised her voice. "Okay  
Clow Card, we know you're here. So show yourself."  
  
A strong gust of wind swept past us. I had to shield my eyes against it. There was  
darkness, complete darkness, for a moment. It felt so cold. Then everything cleared up.  
I blinked, and looked ahead to a figure which was completely cloaked in darkness.  
  
And it wasn't just because it was wearing total black, either. It was evident in the lines  
of the creature's face, the empty deep darkness of its eyes, and its general manner. Not  
to mention the cold chill I'd gotten when it swept past me. It was a thing of darkness.   
There was no doubt in my mind what it was.  
  
"The Doom Card...?" Sakura whispered hesitantly from next to me.  
The Clow Card looked at us 2 for a minute, as if it was sizing us up. It seemed to study  
me closely, it's cold eyes boring into my own. I instantly tensed up, on guard.  
  
Then it spoke. "You are the Clow Mistress, I presume?"  
It was addressing Sakura. I glanced over at her. Her eyes were wide, and this time I  
could clearly read the expressions in them. Curiousity and fear.  
The card was reading her too, and then it gave a scornful type of smile. It chuckled.  
The sound was far from happy.  
  
"You certainly don't appear to be anything special," it said quietly. Sakura frowned in  
anger. The Clow Card went on. "You're still an innocent child. The weight of the cruel,  
cold world has not graced you yet. You will be no match."  
Sakura glared at it. "What do you think you know anyway?" she demanded, pulling out  
a card. "I'm going to capture you."  
  
The Doom Card raised a finger. Sakura and I were blown back by an unseen force.  
"I'm afraid I can't allow you to do that," it said calmly, as expressionlessly as before.  
I shot a look at Sakura. "This isn't the greatest time to lose your temper," I told her in  
annoyance. "Don't you know that you have to handle this one carefully? It's only one of  
the strongest Clow Cards."  
  
"Shut up, Li!" she snapped back, her eyes flaring. "I've already been getting enough of  
this from you as it is, I don't need it now. I'll do it my own way, got a problem?"  
"Fine, if you're feeling suicidal tonight," I retorted angrily. "It'll be a great way to kill  
yourself. Though I don't see why-" I cut myself off.  
Her eyes narrowed into poisonous darts as she stared at me, livid. "Why you should care?"  
she finished. "Yes, that is what you want to say, isn't it? I don't see why you would  
care, either."  
  
We stared at each other. The fury was coursing through my veins. I hated her right then.  
How could she even imply something like that? That I didn't care? I hated her..and loved  
her, the emotions mixing together wildly, a medicine more powerful than any other drug  
in creation. I guess that was my only explanation for what I said next. "Well, maybe I  
don't," I told her in a quiet voice.  
  
There was no betrayal of what she felt except a slight widening of her eyes. I couldn't  
look at her, and turned away, the aftershock of the words hanging over us like a thick  
coating of smoke. I knew that in the bushes, the other 3 had heard every word, and   
were probably even more annoyed and exasperated, but I still didn't believe what had  
been said. The previous emotion had slipped away, leaving behind coldness.  
  
Then I noticed the Doom Card watching us intensely. Sakura noticed it too.  
"Hurt..anger..pain..despair," it murmured, it's cold eyes suddenly sad. Staring into them,  
I could suddenly feel the weariness that it carried around.  
"You..know?" Sakura whispered in amazement.  
  
The clow card looked at us. "How can I not?" it asked. "That is all the world is made up  
of. Those 4 primary emotions. The universe is run by them. You are experiencing it too."  
Sakura was silent for a moment, then shook her head slowly. "No," she murmured. "That  
isn't it at all. There is joy, triumph, love..."  
The card shook its head as well. "The joy always comes before pain. Triumph is usually  
caused at the expense of someone else's suffering." It looked at me knowingly. "The love  
eventually turns into hate."  
  
I stared up at it in shock. Was it feeling what I was feeling now? No. I knew that I didn't  
hate Sakura, I never could. Was its view of life really so twisted?   
"You are just like me," the card said softly, addressing me. My eyes widened as I realized  
it was reading my mind.  
"I'm...not like you," I said. The Doom Card smirked. "You feel everything I listed. You are  
all cold inside."  
I simply shook my head. "Believe me. I am nothing like you."   
The card glanced away. "Perhaps," it murmured. "After all, I am a creature of the   
darkness. That is what the world is."  
  
  
  
~Sakura's POV~  
  
  
  
The Doom Card looked at me. "Well, if you hold still, I'll try not to make this too painful.  
I don't want to do this, really. But you are my nemesis."  
I didn't even try to resist. I think it was hypnotizing me. All I know is that I was being  
pulled, it's eyes like magnets to mine. I moved closer to it.  
  
Then something somewhat unexpected happened. Li immediatly jumped in front of me,   
his back blocking my view of the Doom Card, and stopping the spell. I snapped back to  
reality and blinked. Huh? I thought.   
  
Li remained in front of me, holding his sword drawn and ready. "You're not going to hurt  
her," he told the card angrily.  
I guess the Doom Card was almost as surprised as I was. It actually blinked. "The   
descendant of Clow Reed," it murmured. Then it spoke directly to Li. "Just move aside.  
It's not really you I'm worried about too much, not yet. I only want the Clow Mistress,  
she's the main obstacle."  
  
"Li, what are you doing?" I demanded, somewhat confused. Okay, that wasn't the real  
question I wanted to ask. I could easily see what he was doing. I wanted to know why  
he was doing it. He'd said that.....he hated me.....that he didn't care.....  
  
Li glared up at the card. "I won't let you hurt her," he told it firmly.  
The Doom Card stared at him for a moment, something slowly dawning in it's pain-filled  
eyes. "Why do you care about what happens to her?" it wanted to know.  
  
Uncertainty spread across Li's expression as he remained speechless. I stared at him,  
wide eyed. I wanted to know the same thing.  
"I don't think you would understand," he murmured. The card of doom glanced away.  
"Maybe I wouldn't," it said quietly. Then it turned back to Li and approached him, pulling  
him a few feet away.  
  
"But I do know one thing," it continued. "This action, it's a weakness. Weaknesses are  
a terrible thing." It's voice was filled with weary knowledge. "Nobody should have any  
weaknesses. Perhaps I can help you to get rid of yours." It placed a hand on Li's shoulder.  
It might have gripped him hard, or gently, I didn't know. Li flinched.  
  
The dangerous look was back in the Doom Card's eyes, all it's former weariness gone. In  
place, it was back to it's normal cold, evil persona.  
The card put it's hand around Li's, directing him to point the sword..straight at me.  
  
"Now," it said. "You have a choice. You will kill her for me. You will run your sword straight  
through her chest. Or I will kill you."  
  
Li's eyes widened. I gasped and took a step back. In the forest where they were hidden,  
I could distinctly hear the others gasp too.  
"It's as simple as that," said the Doom Card. "And it shouldn't be hard," it added   
soothingly. "She's your rival. So in fact, it should be a pleasure. It's good to get rid of  
your weakness now, when you can. Don't make the foolish choice."  
  
I knew he would do it. He did hate me, after all. At first, when he was defending me, he'd  
been uncertain, but I knew he wouldn't throw his life away. I squeezed my eyes shut and  
took another step back, waiting for the blade to slash through me.  
  
Li finally spoke. "No."  
My eyes flew open and I stared at him, unable to believe what he'd just said.  
The clow card was just as stunned as I was. "What did you say?" it demanded.  
Li lowered his sword and glared up at the Doom Card. "You heard what I said," he told it  
furiously. "It's never going to happen. You'll never make me hurt Sakura."  
  
I found my voice. "Li, are you crazy?" I cried in shock, staring at him. He glanced at me.  
"Excuse me?" he retorted. "You actually want me to kill you, and you're asking me if I'm  
crazy?"  
"Why are you doing this?" I gasped. "It's going to..."  
"Why are you doing this?" the card repeated, still staring at Li incredulously. He glanced  
up at it. "I told you before, I doubt you'd understand."  
"You will die, I told you that before," the card replied. He held his gaze steady. "So go  
ahead and kill me. I won't hurt her."  
  
Okay, I know that what I did next was a little extreme, but I don't think I had full control  
over myself right then. I ran up to Li when he wasn't looking, grabbed the end of his  
sword, and pulled it toward me, so that the tip of the blade was pressed against my   
chest. He stared at me. "Sakura, what are-"  
  
"Li." I cut him off. "Just do it. It really will kill you, you know that!"  
His amber eyes burned into mine, and there was something unreadable in them. "I....  
can't...."  
"Why?" I demanded.  
"Yes, why?" the card echoed, genuine curiousity in it's voice. "With all she's put you  
through. I can feel the pain she made you suffer. Why don't you at least want revenge,  
if nothing else?"  
Li gazed at me, then at the card. "Why?" he repeated softly. "Nothing will make me hurt  
her. So kill me. There's no way I'd be able to live after destroying Sakura anyway. I care  
about her."  
  
He looked back at me, his eyes were still a mystery. He released his grip on the sword,  
letting it fall to the ground. My eyes were wide in disbelief and confusion. Why wouldn't  
he do it? I thought. He knew he was going to die if he didn't. The tears threatened to  
build up again. "Li..." I murmured.  
  
He looked calmly at me. "It's okay," he said, pushing me back. "Just stay back."  
The Doom Card kept staring at Li, eyes wide too. "You...really do care..." it murmured  
in amazement. "I don't see why, but I do see that it is very powerful."  
  
I don't think I really got what was going on. Li hated me, he'd said so himself, and he'd  
proved it. But now he'd rather die then get rid of me permanently.   
  
The Doom Card shook it's head sadly. "You know you will die," it said  
quietly. "I made a promise, even if I would want to take it back, I can't. Destiny is doom,  
once I promise something, I cannot recall it." It paused. "I still do not understand why  
you would willingly take this choice. It's not too late to change your mind."  
  
Li shook his head firmly. "Never. No way. I'm not like you."  
The clow card nodded silently. "So I see."  
  
It placed one hand over his chest and a black energy escaped from it. The energy   
swept over Li, completely wrapping itself around him. He collapsed to the ground.  
  
  
  
~Madison's POV~  
  
  
  
I was frozen, rooted to the spot in the bushes where my eyes and ears took in everything  
that was happening. But my brain wasn't registering a thing. I had long since put down  
my camcorder in shock, unable to grasp what was going on.  
  
It happened in slow motion, but I saw every movement clearly. The Doom Card placing a  
hand over Li's chest, the dark energy, Li crumpling to the ground, Sakura's eyes going  
even wider in terror.  
  
I still couldn't believe it. Li was dead. One of my closest friends, gone forever.  
  
I felt Kero tremble next to me. I could hear Sakura screaming Li's name over and over.  
The card of doom just stood and watched the whole scene with an unreadable expression.  
And I was crying. I could feel the tears coursing down my face as I whimpered.  
  
Meiling was already sobbing, and she flew out of the bushes toward Li and Sakura, crying  
his name. I followed close on her heels. Our hiding spot was already blown anyway. I  
suppose Kero figured that too, because he was right behind me. The thing was, the  
Doom Card didn't seem the least bit surprised to see us, as if it knew we'd been there  
the whole time.  
  
I knelt next to my best friend, who had Li's head cradled in her lap while her hand clasped  
his limp one tightly. She was sobbing uncontrollably. I placed an arm around her heaving  
shoulders. Meiling was also kneeling next to Li's body, shaking him in an attempt to wake  
him up. My tears flowed faster as I realized that Li probably would never wake up again.  
  
"Li...please..." Sakura whispered between her sobs. Kero patted her shoulder gently. I  
never thought it was possible to see a stuffed animal cry, but what could I deny when  
it was happening in front of me? I pressed 2 of my fingers against Li's other wrist, though  
there was probably no point in doing so. It was obvious what I would find, or rather,   
would not find.  
  
Meiling stifled her crying and jumped to her feet, glaring at the card with tears still racing  
down her face. "You killed him!" she wailed. "How could you?"  
The Clow card looked back at her. "You all...care deeply about him?"  
  
Sakura suddenly stiffened beneath my arm. Then she leaped to her feet as well, grabbing  
her wand. We gasped as she ran up to a few feet away from the Doom Card. "Sakura!   
Don't get too close!" Kero cried warningly.  
  
I don't think Sakura heard a word. She stared intensely at the card, and even I could  
practically see her fury. It was radiating from her the way heat radiates from fire. And  
it was just as intense.  
"I care about him," she said, her voice very low. "So much. And you....took him away.   
Something like you doesn't deserve to wander the universe. A creature with no heart.  
I'm going to put you away once and for all." She grasped her wand tightly before her.  
Her voice even terrified me, and I could see Meiling shudder. It was so..icy.  
  
The Clow card came closer to her. I held my breath, but it didn't do anything. They stared  
at each other, nearly face to face.  
"A heart?" asked the Doom Card. "What is that?"  
"It's where emotions come from," Sakura told it quietly. "It's where your feelings start  
racing when you feel love, where they start churning when you're nervous, where they  
begin to soar when you are happy. It's where your very soul lives. But yours has gone  
all cold and stone. And then you do something like this."  
  
"Mine?" the card almost laughed. "I do not have one. Something like me cannot have one.  
He is not the first one I've ever dealt with this way. Definetly not."  
"Everyone has a heart," said Sakura. "Yours has become all stony. But that happens some-  
times. I know you have one. I could feel it when you were talking to Li about emotions.  
You're curious about them. But the very fact that you want to know about them proves  
that you do have them. Or else you wouldn't care."  
  
"How does she know all this?" Meiling hissed at Kero and I. I shrugged; it wasn't as if I  
could give much of an answer, since I was wondering the exact same thing. But I   
wasn't worried. Sakura knew what she was doing, and I believed in her. She just had  
that kind of personality.  
  
"But....I..." the clow card muttered. Sakura's eyes filled with tears. "Emotions are real.  
I don't know what more proof you need."  
It caught her meaning as its eyes drifted to Li. It glanced away.   
"It doesn't have to be this way," she continued.   
The Doom card looked at her. "You cannot capture me. I don't want to be captured."  
  
Sakura was about to say something else when suddenly, another strong gust of wind   
brushed past us. But this one was different. It felt warm and caressing, not like the  
harsh, cold one the Doom Card had given off when it made it's appearance. There was  
a bright, white light, so bright I had to close my eyes.   
  
They flew open when I suddenly heard a wild scream. I looked up. The Doom Card was  
being bound by a white, glowing being with huge feathery wings, nymph-like eyes, and  
something above its shining white head that resembled a halo. And its aura was so calming   
and gentle. The Doom Card looked up into its eyes. "You." it muttered.  
I glanced at Kero. "Whose that?" I wanted to know. Kero's eyes were wide. "It's the  
Doom card's counterpart. The Angel card."  
  
Sakura was standing in shock, still grabbing her wand, when the Angel looked straight  
at her. It mouthed one word: "Now."  
Sakura nodded, understanding. She held up her wand. "Doom Card, I command you to  
return to your power confined!"  
The Doom Card was sucked into the shape of a card. The impact sent Sakura stumbling  
back, and it forced Meiling and I to shut our eyes again.  
  
When I reopened them, the Doom card was nothing more than a harmless Clow Card in  
Sakura's hand. I watched her stare at it for a minute, then turn her gaze back at Li as  
she knelt next to him again, tears glimmering on her face.  
  
Meiling started sobbing again as she remembered what had just happened to her best  
friend. I felt the sadness well up inside me. We had won, Sakura had beaten her biggest  
challenge, just the same as always. But this time, the price had been way too high.  
  
I suddenly became aware of the Angel card's presence as it moved closer to us. Its eyes  
caught mine, and I gasped. Its eyes were amazing. It was like looking directly through  
a telescope into a whirling nebula of galaxy stars.  
Then it turned to the rest of us. It didn't really speak, but it gestured to Li, wanting to  
know what had happened.  
"He was...attacked by the Doom card," Meiling murmured. Next to me, I saw Sakura  
clench her eyes shut as she began to shake. "Because of me," she whispered. "The  
Doom Card told him to kill me, but he wouldn't do it....I don't know why."  
  
"It's not your fault, Sakura," I told her. I noticed the Angel card  
eyeing her strangely, first in confusion, then realization, and then understanding. It   
touched Sakura on the shoulder, and she stared up at it in surprise. Then it finally spoke,  
in a silky, faraway voice.   
"The reason he did it is clear, at least to me," it told her. Then it pointed to her chest.  
"Does it hurt?" it asked softly.  
  
Sakura raised an eyebrow in confusion, glancing down at her chest until she realized what  
the clow card meant: her heart. She nodded, tears spilling down. "Yes," she admitted  
quietly. "It hurts. I never knew anything could hurt as much. I never realized..." She  
trailed off.  
  
The Angel looked at her, smiling. "You will find out exactly why it hurts so much  
soon," it told her. Then it paused. "I can bring him back. But only if your feelings remain  
true to form."  
Sakura's eyes went wide, as did the rest of ours. "You can...bring him back?" I whispered  
in awe. The card nodded. "But it is up to the Clow Mistress."  
  
"Please," Sakura whispered. "Just bring him back. I promise, my feelings will remain the  
same."  
The card nodded in satsisfaction. Then it placed a hand on top of Li's chest, just as the  
Doom Card had done. A white, soothing light enveloped him, and then it slowly vanished.  
I pressed my fingers against his wrist again, and I felt it..his pulse. I gasped in happiness,  
and I guess my expression gave it away. Meiling burst into tears and clutched Kero  
tightly, jumping around in happiness and crying, "He's okay, he's okay!" Sakura just sat  
motionless as she stared down at Li, eyes wide. There was a mixed flood of emotion on  
her face.   
  
Then the Angel card stood back, gesturing toward herself. Sakura understood, and she  
reached for her wand. "Angel Card, return to your power confined!" she called. As the  
Angel was being sucked into the card, Sakura whispered, "Thank you." The card smiled  
and shook her head, mouthing something. I think it was, "It was your love that brought  
him back, it is so strong." I suppose that would have made sense, to everyone except  
Sakura that is, but I'm not 100 percent sure that was what the Angel said.  
  
The Angel card landed in Sakura's hand, and she stared at it. I kneeled next to Li with  
Meiling, Sakura coming over after a while. Li was still unconscious.  
"We need to get him home," said Kero. "But he'll be okay. He probably won't even need  
to sleep it off for long."  
"I'll take him home," Sakura volunteered, pulling out the Float Card. I eyed her. "Are you  
sure?" I demanded.  
"It'll be okay," Sakura answered, not looking directly at me. Meiling looked at her watch.  
"I would take him home, but I promised the drama teacher that I'd be early tonight," she  
said, glancing back in the direction of the school. I nodded; I'd made the same promise.  
"Okay, take him home, and then come back to the drama club," Meiling continued.   
Sakura nodded, and she pulled out the Float Card. Meiling and I walked back through the  
park as Sakura and Li went in the opposite direction.  
  
  
  
~Sakura's POV~  
  
  
  
Slipping through an open window at Li's house, I commanded the Float card in the   
direction of his room. Once there, I got him into bed and called back the card. I pulled  
the covers up, lost in thought. He was still out cold.  
  
I stared down at him wonderingly. He was so peaceful. I quickly checked to see if he was  
still breathing, and sighed in relief when I felt his pulse in his neck. Then I brushed some  
hair away from his face. I couldn't resist. I didn't know why.  
  
I blinked slowly, once again thinking back to the battle with the Doom Card. That had  
been the ultimate fear. There was no way to describe what I'd been feeling when Li  
died like that. Scared? Not really. Sad? Didn't even cover the half of it. All I know was  
that I meant everything I told the Angel card. It had hurt. Worse than anything at all.  
Even worse than the way I'd already been feeling lately. I knew why.  
  
I knelt next to Li's bed. "Why?" I whispered to his sleeping form. "Why didn't you just do  
it?" What I meant was, why hadn't he just done what the Doom Card had commanded  
him to do? Would it really have been so hard? Don't get me wrong, it wasn't like I wanted  
to die, but I realized that if it would prevent Li from getting hurt, I would.  
  
I knew I really cared about him, way more than I should. And I knew it was dangerous  
to feel this way, especially with what was going on. I shut my eyes briefly as I recalled  
the terrible argument. I could still hear Li's words: "God Sakura, sometimes I just hate   
you!"  
I remembered my own cruel words: "I hope you don't think the feeling isn't mutual! I  
hate you too!"  
  
What was I on? I wondered for the 90th time. I couldn't even remember a single thing  
that had happened before those words had been said. I stifled a muffled sob.  
  
And now I was feeling worse than ever. Because of the argument. Because of the battle.  
For one thing, I remembered how Li had always stuck up for me, no matter what. Whether  
we were fighting a Clow Card or just something that happened at school. And then one  
little argument had destroyed all that. And if the Angel card hadn't shown up when it  
did...I knew I would never have gotten the chance to tell him how sorry I was.  
  
I pulled out the Doom card and the Angel card, looking at them both. I remembered what  
I'd told the Angel, that my love would remain true. But could I really tell Li that? I  
wondered. How could I? Especially when I was sure that he meant every single word he'd  
said to me over the past week. I still couldn't understand why he'd refused to hurt me.  
  
I turned to the Doom card, thinking about the fight again. The thing was, I didn't hate it.  
I wasn't even mad at it. I thought about how horrible it must be to live without feeling.  
No wonder there'd been such weariness and darkness surrounding it. Hopefully, it would  
be okay now.  
  
I looked at my watch and got up, deciding to meet Madison and Meiling and the others  
at the drama club. I quickly wrote a note explaining things to Li and telling him what to  
do when he woke up, sticking it on the table next to his bed. Then I studied both the  
cards for a moment. Finally, I placed the Angel card next to him. It suited him better, no  
matter what he did. Hesitating for a moment, I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, feeling  
the familiar pain well up inside me. "I'm sorry, Li," I whispered.  
  
I jumped away from him as he stirred slightly. Maybe he'd heard me, or felt me.  
I hope he wakes up soon, I thought, dashing out of the room and out the front door. But I   
still didn't want to be there when he did. Maybe I was stubborn, or guarding my feelings. I   
didn't want to apologize to him until I knew exactly where he stood.  
  
  
  
~Li's POV~  
  
  
  
I opened my eyes to white blurriness. I stared up in confusion for a moment, then blinked  
slowly, my vision finally clearing. I was looking at my bedroom ceiling.  
  
What was going on? How had I gotten here? The last thing I remembered was being at  
the park, facing off with a Clow Card....the rest was all a blank, or fragments of things  
that didn't really make sense. Something about an angel...or had there been 2?  
  
I groaned and sat up with much effort. I reclosed my eyes for a moment, trying to get  
the room to stop spinning. I looked around. I was in my bed in my room, for sure. There  
was little light coming from outside, causing everything to have a long shadow. Something  
next to me caught my eye. I picked it up. It was a Clow Card, but when I turned it over  
I was confused. The Angel Card? Where'd that come from?  
  
I rubbed my eyes as a few more events came back to me. The meeting at the park. The  
encounter with the Doom Card. I'd refused to hurt Sakura in any way.....and then what?  
More blurred images. I remembered hearing and seeing a few things even when I'd been  
out of it...but what? Angels...there had been 2, I thought. One with incredibly startling  
eyes, and all white. And another one with amazing green eyes, who'd looked so familiar..  
  
I glanced at the Angel card in my hand. I guess that would explain the first angel, so at  
least I knew it hadn't all been some really crazy dream.  
Then I noticed something on my bedside table. I picked it up, it was a note.  
  
Li--  
  
Just so you don't get all confused and everything when you wake up, this is what   
happened. Remember, Kero told us that the Doom Card was loose, and it was in the   
park? We fought it, and you almost--or you did--end up dead. The Angel Card came along  
and brought you back to life. That should clear everything up.  
Also, don't forget that there's a drama club meeting tonight, so when you're feeling   
better, drop by, okay?  
  
  
  
It wasn't signed, but I knew who'd written it. I'd know the handwriting anywhere. And I  
also realized who the second "angel" must have been.  
  
I sighed and tore up the note as I remembered everything that had happened the past  
week. So she had been here after all. That explained the Angel Card that was here.  
Why? I wondered. Why would she even care? I laid back on my bed, staring up at the  
ceiling. I also remembered the battle with the Doom Card, well, up to when it had   
apparently killed me.  
  
I'd refused to kill Sakura, I thought, thinking back to that moment when the Doom card  
had given me the choice. Some choice. I remembered the way I felt when it told me to kill   
her. And I remembered realizing that there was no way that I would ever be able to do   
something like that to her. Not with the way I'd been feeling about her.  
I'd meant everything that I'd told the card of doom. I wouldn't be able to live without her,   
and knowing I'd murdered her myself...I'd picked the right choice, I'd known for sure. She  
meant everything to me. Which was why it hurt so much.  
  
I got up, and leaving my room, I went to the balcony. Not bothering to close the sliding  
doors, I walked over to the railing and leaned against it, staring over the skyline. The  
sun was nothing more than a pink streak across the horizon, stars beginning to show  
through the empty purple sky.  
  
My body felt numb. Too bad I couldn't say the same for my heart and my mind. They  
were churning like crazy with so many emotions. Love. Fear. Anger. And another one  
that I couldn't define, but which scared me. All centered around one pretty green-eyed   
girl. And I remembered the words we'd exchanged with the Doom Card watching.  
  
"Why you should care? Yes, that is what you were about to say, wasn't it? I don't know  
why you should, either."  
"Well, maybe I don't."  
  
I squeezed my eyes shut. I wanted the tears to fall. They wouldn't. I felt so cold. Things  
were shattering, breaking, tearing up inside my heart. Because of her. Why?  
The pain hadn't gone anywhere. Now it hurt physically. I could actually feel my heart  
beating wildly as I clutched the balcony railing. I found myself asking why I hadn't just  
stayed dead before. I didn't want to go through this because of her. No one deserved to  
go through this. Love and hate someone so strongly, at exactly the same time? It was  
too much, it hurt too much.   
  
I heard a knock at the door. I didn't even bother to attempt moving to answer it. The  
door was open, they could let themselves in. I didn't care if it was a criminal. It might  
make things so much easier. I didn't care who it was.  
  
Sure enough, the door opened. I expected to hear Meiling's voice or something. She   
usually forgets her key.  
But it was the one person who I hadn't counted on to be there. The one person who I  
did care if she walked through the door.   
"Li? Where are you?" called Sakura.  
I felt like there was both fire and ice running through me. Just the sound of her voice  
ripped into me like a knife. I still didn't move. She could come to me if she wanted to find   
me so badly.   
I suddenly felt like I was sinking, drowning. I could feel myself slowly slipping away.  
  
  
  
~Sakura's POV~  
  
  
  
I looked into Li's room, but he wasn't there. So where was he?   
"Li? Where are you?" I called, heading toward the kitchen. He wasn't in there, either. Nor  
in the living room, or the bathrooms. I even checked the other bedrooms. Where did he  
go? I wondered, feeling a flash of irritance. Didn't he read my note? Why wouldn't he  
answer me?  
  
As I continued to look around but not find him, irritance slowly turned to fear. What if  
something bad had happened? Even he wasn't so ignorant as to just leave, especially if  
he'd read the note.   
"Li?" I called again. I approached the balcony, noticing that the doors were open. Then  
I saw him. He was leaning against the rail looking out toward the city.  
  
I approached him. "Excuse me, is there a good reason that you didn't answer me?" I  
demanded in annoyance.  
He shrugged, not even turning to look at me. "Sorry," he muttered.  
I felt a pang of hurt when he hardly acknowledged my presence. His face was completely  
blank, devoid of any feeling whatsoever. But what did you expect? I chided myself. How  
much clearer could he make it? He didn't care about me. He hated me. It was as simple  
as that. But it hurt way too much to be so simple.  
  
"Did you read my note?" I asked him. He just nodded. "So then, you know what happened  
to you, right?" I continued.   
"Yes," he replied flatly.   
"Well, how do you feel?" I asked. "I was sent to check up on you by the drama teacher.  
I told her you weren't feeling too good. Luckily, a lot of the others could back me up on  
that, since Meiling told them earlier today that you were sick." I paused. "So, how are  
you feeling? Do you feel any side effects or anything?"  
  
He didn't reply immediately. I began to feel uncomfortable as he just stood silently for a  
moment, the breeze brushing past us. The sun still hadn't set completely.  
Finally, he slowly turned to me. "How do I feel?" he echoed hollowly. I looked at him in  
confusion. His eyes were clouded, and so empty.  
"Yeah," I said slowly. "Do you feel any different?"  
"No," he said. He turned back to the skyline. Then he asked. "Why didn't you let me die?"  
"What?"  
"Why didn't you just let me die?"  
  
I'd heard him the first time, but I couldn't believe it. Let him die? My heart twisted   
uneasily as I thought about what he'd said.  
"Li...I couldn't," I murmured. It was all I could say.  
He didn't reply for a minute. "Why?" he asked finally.  
He was definetly making me nervous now. He'd wanted to die? I felt a sharp stab in my  
chest just thinking about it.   
  
"Why are you talking this way?" I demanded. "Let you die? I'd never-" I cut myself off   
before I let myself say what I'd really wanted to say: "I'd never let you die, I care too  
much."  
"Why did you want to die?" I asked.   
He looked at me. "Because no one should live through what I'm going through." His eyes  
were so cold, they were icy. I felt a slight shudder as I stared into them.  
  
"What are you talking about?" I asked quietly. "Li, are you okay? Did the Doom card do  
something to you?"  
He walked toward me, and I took a step back, his eyes locked with mine. Now we were  
back in the house.  
"It wasn't the Doom Card that did anything to me," he answered quietly. "It was you."  
Then he took my wrist. I felt a small tremor as he touched me, but then he twisted my  
arm slowly and shoved me against the wall. I stared up into his eyes, starting to tremble,  
not completely from fear. My knees were getting weak. But there, I said it. He was   
beginning to scare me a little. Why was he doing this? What exactly had happened?  
  
"Me?" I responded in a tiny voice to his earlier statement, feeling my cheeks flare up. His   
eyes weren't so empty anymore. But I think I preferred his earlier look to the one he was   
giving me now. He was slowly showing through what he was feeling.  
  
"Yes. You," he replied coldly. "I never even knew about pain like this a week ago."  
A week ago...exactly when the big argument had started. I stared at his eyes, finally  
seeing how much all this had hurt him. And it was too painful to watch. Oceans of pain  
and turmoil beyond anything I could imagine. The others had been right. All along, he'd  
been hiding it inside, refusing to show that he was suffering..just like me. Well, maybe   
not just like me. The look in his eyes revealed that this was probably even worse than  
my case. Tears pricked at my eyes as I thought of his earlier remarks about death. I  
couldn't look anymore. I turned away. "Li....I..."  
  
He continued to pin my gaze down, though he had pulled me a little ways from the wall.  
"I'm so tired of this," he told me. The coldness had left his voice, and in place was...I  
didn't know what it was. "The silence. The anger. The words. Do you know how much it  
hurts? I doubt it." I glanced down at my arm, which he was still gripping. It was starting  
to feel sore. I knew he was losing control. And whose fault was that?  
  
"Li...you're hurting me," I murmured, flinching. My fear was beginning to show through.  
He saw it too, and let go of my arm. I fell back against the wall, emotionally exhausted.  
"I'm sorry," he muttered. I stared up at him, and was completely shocked to see tears in  
his eyes. "Li, don't..." I began, my own tears dangerously close to falling.  
  
He collapsed to his knees in front of me, his head bowed as his shoulders shook. "It hurts,  
Sakura. More than anything has ever hurt before in my life. I don't want to feel this way.  
I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of the stuff I've said since Saturday. I don't know why I  
said it. I could never hate you. Don't you know how I feel? I care so much about you,  
you don't realize. I love you Sakura. Just please, don't do this anymore, let's just stop it.  
I can't take it anymore..." his voice broke off in sobs.  
  
I just stared at him, my tears sliding down my face rapidly as I tried to grasp what was  
going on. I had never seen Li cry before. Ever. And Meiling told me that he had never  
cried before, and she'd known him practically her whole life. She told me he hadn't even  
cried when he'd broken his leg in training years ago. Chelsea was right. Li had been  
slowly breaking down inside. Because of me.....  
  
  
  
~Li's POV~  
  
  
  
The pain was intense. It burned through me, consuming my whole self. I could hardly  
breathe. I knew I was crying. And I knew I'd lost it. I mean, I had hurt Sakura. Hurt her  
and scared her. She was afraid.   
But it hurt so much...I was willing to do anything to stop it. I was losing my grip on reality.  
  
"It's hurting you too," Sakura murmured weakly. I couldn't do anything but nod.  
Then she touched me gently on the shoulder. I flinched and jumped back as if she'd  
stung me. I couldn't stand her touch. It was making the pain worse, if possible.  
  
"Get back Sakura," I told her guardedly, tears still flowing. "I don't need you to make it  
worse." It was already unbearable.  
Then she knelt in front of me. I looked into her eyes in surprised amazement. They were  
filled with pain as tears streamed down her face, and more hurt had built up in them when  
I'd recoiled from her.  
  
We stared at each other for a moment. I saw whatever was left of the ice in her eyes  
just melt away instantly. Then she came forward, and put her arms around me.   
I cried into her shoulder, not even feeling embarrased. I just let it out, trying to ease  
the pain as I put my arms around her, feeling the twist in my heart. It was still hurting,  
there was a rush of emotions as I clung to her. Longing, hurt, despair--the usual drill, as  
of late. The sobs tore through me as I kept wishing that Sakura had just let the Doom  
card finish what it started. I couldn't live like this.  
  
But through the whole time I was crying and thinking, she continued to hold me, not  
letting go of me once. She knew exactly what to do. She let me cry, and I could feel  
her rub my back in comfort. Then it slowly dawned on me: she wasn't mad anymore. My  
tears began to subside as I quieted down. She still held on to me. "Sakura..." I murmured.  
"It's okay Li. It's going to be alright. I..." her voice broke off, and I could hear the shudder  
in her tone.  
  
And the pain began to subside. Just like that. Just by the feel of her comforting touch.  
I felt a warm rush as she continued to hold me, and attempt to make me feel better. God,  
I loved her so much. But with all that had happened...the pain wouldn't cease to exist  
until she knew how I felt.   
  
She still kept me in her warm hug, and I still held on to her too. My tears ran dry as I  
felt my heart stop tearing itself up. The tightening in my chest loosened, and I felt like  
about a thousand tons were being lifted off my shoulders. And it was all because of  
knowing she was there, that she still cared, no matter how little. I didn't know if she  
really meant what she'd implied over the course of the last week, or how she really felt  
about me. I didn't want to know. I just wanted to hang onto this moment right now, when  
everything felt almost like..life was worth living again. Just because she was there.  
  
Then there was silence. It was so much different from the harsh, unbearable silence  
between the 2 of us lately, this one was tranquil, comforting. But it wasn't complete.  
My own sobs had drifted away, so I knew that it wasn't my trembling that I was feeling.  
I opened my eyes slowly in wonder, holding the girl in my arms more tightly. I didn't know  
why I hadn't noticed it before, but she had been shaking the whole time. I'd felt it in  
her touch, and in her voice. Now, however, it was becoming more violent.  
  
I pulled back from her slightly so I could see her, keeping my hands on her arms. Her   
eyes were clenched tightly, as if she was trying feverently to hold back a huge flood of  
tears. It was working well, since only a few seemed to have escaped. Or maybe it wasn't  
working so well. The suppresion was causing her body to shake, and she was positively  
shuddering now. She could really get hurt this way.  
  
"Sakura," I said quietly. She swallowed and slowly opened her eyes, staring straight at  
me. I gazed back in her eyes in shock. They looked so tortured, pain swimming around  
in the deep jade. Which was why I was even more surprised at the words that came out  
of her mouth, her voice amazingly even and calm. "Do you feel better Li?" she asked me.  
"Are you okay now?"  
  
Okay, this was wierd. "Somehow, I don't think you're the one who should be asking that  
question," I replied, a little dryly, staring at her. "Sakura, are you..." I drifted off, holding   
her tighter, concern flowing through me.  
She shut her eyes again, turning away from me. "I'm sorry Li," she whispered, the torture  
flowing through her voice. "I know you must really hate me now..."  
I stared at her in shock. "What? Sakura, I could never-"  
She cut me off as she gazed back at me. "Do you still hurt?" she wanted to know. "Do  
you still want to..to.."  
I knew she was talking about my earlier remarks. And I shook my head. Not just because  
I wanted to reassure her, but because it was true, at least now. I looked at her, and  
through the pain I saw her concern...for me. And I really did feel better, knowing that  
she hadn't meant what she'd said either.  
"No," I told her softly, shaking my head. "Thanks to you."  
  
She gave a sad smile and turned away. "Don't thank me for anything," she said. A tear  
slipped down her face, and then another, and then finally, the dam burst. Her body  
began wracking with sobs as she tried to place some control over the tears, but to no  
avail. I held on tighter, looking at her in surprise. "Sakura," I began. Could it really mean...  
Suddenly, I knew instantly that she was sorry for what had happened this week, too. I  
felt so much lighter right then, lighter and happier. But it was weighted down: she  
was still in complete pain. I knew firsthand how much that could hurt. And all I could do   
was hold on to her.  
  
"I am so sorry Li," she whispered. "I...I'm such an idiot. I didn't even realize that I was  
hurting you so much, while it was so obvious. All the others kept telling me that it wasn't  
just hurting me, it was really getting to you. Meiling couldn't have made it any clearer.  
But I still didn't think..." She broke off in shuddering sobs.  
  
The last ounce of pain left in me flared up as I saw what I really must have put her   
through. She seemed broken, all torn up inside, the way I'd felt before she'd helped me.   
But what I still didn't get was why she kept going on and on like this. She was feeling so   
tortured, yet she only cared about how I was feeling. Why?  
  
I held her closer to me, putting my hand underneath her chin and forcing her to look up  
at me. I brushed away her tears. "Sakura," I told her. "It's alright. I'm okay, but what  
about you? How do you feel?"  
She stared up at me, and I saw another flash of pain in her eyes. "You want to know?"  
she murmured quietly. Somewhat confused, I nodded. Then she leaned toward me, and  
before I knew it, she...kissed me.  
  
My eyes went wide at first in complete surprise, but then..I kissed her back. As I relaxed,  
I felt that warm rush course through me again, but this time, it was even warmer, almost  
hot. My senses felt like they were burning up.   
  
Then she pulled away and looked down, blushing slightly. I just stared back at her, dazed.  
"That's how I feel about you, Li," she murmured quietly. "I love you too. So much, it   
hurts. And it's been hurting more than ever since we said those things to each other. I  
was so blind, I couldn't see that I wasn't the only one who was being hurt by it. I thought  
that you didn't care about me in the least."  
She sighed. "After you...you know. After the Angel card showed up, it asked me if I was   
really hurting inside, and I realized that it hurt so much, more than anything I've ever  
felt before. And it made me promise that my love would remain true in order for you to  
come back again. So I promised, because it was such an easy promise to make. I knew  
I wouldn't have any problem with it." She bit down on her lip and kept her gaze away from  
me, tears spilling over again. "See? That's why I couldn't let you die. Because I care too  
much, and the Angel card knew it. It knew that it was already a done deal. Even if it's  
not the same the other way around..."  
  
I was stunned, as I heard her say those 3 words: "I love you."  
"What?" I whispered in shock. She stared up at me, and through the pain in her emerald  
eyes, I saw the deep tenderness. She glanced away, and I could feel her tremble   
underneath my hold. I pulled her toward me and wrapped her in a hug as she broke down,   
crying into my shoulder. Once again, I was surprised at the words that came out.  
  
"Why, Li?" she sobbed. "Why didn't you just listen to what the Doom card told you to do?"  
"Huh?" I gasped. "Sakura, in case you don't remember, it told me to kill you."   
"I know," she said after a moment's silence. "But I wouldn't care, if it meant that you'd  
be okay. I was so scared that whole time, I thought that I'd never have a chance to  
tell you how I felt, how sorry I was. And afterward, I felt so guilty...and you got seriously  
hurt..." She broke off in tears.  
  
As she spoke, I felt the warm rush spread throughout me. And the pain slipped completely  
away as an incredible joy flowed through. She loved me too. There's no way I could  
say how great that made me feel. I held Sakura tighter and smiled down at her.  
"Did it ever occur to you that I meant what I told the Doom card?" I asked her. She  
raised her eyes to mine and I saw confusion in them. Then they widened as she  
remembered my words. I nodded slowly. "Yeah. I'd risk anything to save you. I don't care  
if it makes you my weakness. I love you so much, and I meant what I said. I wouldn't be   
able to live without you, I couldn't even think about it." Her eyes glimmered with tears   
again, but this time they were of a different nature as she began to smile a little. I leaned  
forward and kissed her again. This one lasted longer. I could feel her heart pressed close   
to mine, it was beating wildly. Well, that made 2 of us. We pulled back after a while, and   
she looked up at me and smiled, then lowered her eyes, blushing. She was so cute.   
  
I smiled back at her and pulled her close again. "Just please don't leave me like you did   
this week. I don't want to ever go through all that again, it drove me crazy," I said softly.  
I could feel her arms tightly around my neck again. "Does this mean...can you forgive me?"  
she pleaded in a small voice.   
"Only if you forgive me," I told her.  
"I forgave you a long time ago, Li," she murmured quietly. "It just took me a while to  
realize it."  
  
I really don't know how long we sat there on the floor in front of the balcony, which was  
still open. The sun had set, and moonlight streamed in white beams through the balcony  
doors, along with a cool night breeze. I could feel Sakura drifting off to sleep in my arms  
as her breathing evened and her body began to go limp.  
"I love you Sakura," I whispered in her ear, wondering if she could still hear me. "I'd do  
anything for you. Don't be mad at me for that whole thing with the Doom Card, okay?"  
She'd heard me. "I'm not mad, Li," she replied softly. "I know the feeling. I'd do anything  
for you too."  
  
She fell asleep. And the joy washed through me as I finally knew the truth. She cared  
about me just as much as I cared about her. And that was a love that was bigger than  
the universe, and ran just as deep. And that was all I'd ever longed for.  
  
  
  
~Madison's POV~  
  
  
  
"Why haven't they shown up yet?" Meiling demanded. "I don't believe that girl. She was  
supposed to go and bring Li to drama practice almost an hour ago! I know Li would   
never be so irresponsible, but-"  
  
"Meiling, would you please keep it down?" I told her in irritance as we walked down the  
streets. We were headed to Li's house, the drama teacher had sent us to check on him  
and Sakura. Meiling's complaining had a point to it. The drama teacher had sent Sakura  
after Li a long time ago, and neither had shown up. I was really worried. I knew Sakura  
would never be so irresponsible as to go off somewhere else.  
  
"This isn't like Sakura at all," I said to Meiling, hearing the worry in my voice. "What if  
something happened? Maybe another Clow Card attacked or something."  
"Don't you think the stuffed animal would've mentioned something if there was another  
Clow Card on the run?" Meiling told me. Then she looked away, worry blooming on her  
face. "I think it might be something a little more possible...like a major fight between   
Sakura and Li..." she murmured.  
  
I looked at her in shock. Then my mind flashed back to the horrible fight on Saturday.  
And again, to the fight just earlier this evening. That had been awful.  
"I don't think..I mean..I'm sure they'd be able to control themselves," I said, not at all  
certain about what I was saying. Neither was Meiling.   
"After what we witnessed earlier, I don't think so," she responded dryly.  
  
We looked at each other, both of us definetly a little nervous. I didn't think Sakura and  
Li controlled what they said around each other lately either. And who knew what would  
lead to what. One thing I knew, neither of them would be able to stand any more scarring  
words. Something would blow, really soon.  
  
If it hasn't already, I thought as Meiling and I quickened our pace. The 2 of them were  
already going through a lot, and all of it was so unnecessary. I loved both of them and  
all, but this was really getting ridiculous. It could all be solved by 2 simple words: I'm  
sorry. Of course, I knew it would be resolved even better by those other famous 3 words.  
Problem was, they were just too stubborn to say either set of phrases.   
  
Meiling looked up. "Well, it sure is a nice night," she said, totally off topic. But I looked up   
and had to agree. The moon was out, and the sky was dotted with stars. And it was nice   
out, not too warm or cold. Just tranquility. But what was the peace of the night   
concealing?  
  
We saw Li's place in the distance and started to run. Meiling jammed her key through  
the lock and the door opened. Inside, Meiling was about to call out in a panic, until I  
grabbed her and quickly clamped a hand over her mouth. She looked at me in indignant  
confusion.  
  
"Shhh," I told her. "Listen."   
We heard nothing. That was the whole point. Nothing, as in, no angry words being   
shouted, nobody getting hurt physically. It was silent. I would say that it was eerily  
silent, but it wasn't. It was just a calm serenity. It was calm for a reason. And when I   
looked around the corner, I knew why. Happiness sprang up inside me.  
  
I grabbed Meiling and pulled her so that we knelt on the ground. That way, we wouldn't  
be seen. She stared at me in surprise, though she was being cautious too. "Madison,  
have you totally lost it or something?"  
"Or something," I replied, gesturing for her to take a peek around the corner. She eyed  
me strangely, but she did so. I saw her eyes widen in shock, and wondered how she  
would take it. But after a minute, a smile spread across her face and she turned to me  
happily. I smiled back, and then we both looked around the corner again at the 2   
so-called "enemies".  
  
I think Sakura was asleep, I couldn't tell. Her eyes were closed. Her arms were around   
Li, who was holding her back just as tight.  
Okay, a lot of people would say, "So what?" But considering what was going on the  
past week, I knew that what had happened here was a lot more than it seemed.  
  
"Oh, I wish I had my camcorder," I whispered. Meiling glanced at me. "Too bad," she  
replied. "But I'm sure there'll be another time."  
I nodded, and watched the other 2 for a moment. "Well, I guess we should go back to  
the meeting," I whispered, getting up quietly. "We have to tell the teacher that Li and  
Sakura will be really late, if they decide to show up at all." We both snickered quietly.  
  
I gave the 2 one last glance before heading out the door after Meiling. So finally, they  
saw what everyone else knew all along, I thought.  
Actually, all things considered, I have to say that the fight had been a blessing in a   
really good disguise. If that's what it took to get Sakura and Li together, who could argue,  
right?  
I knew that something big had happened that night. After all, that was the only way  
that this could have happened in the first place. Now they were so much happier,   
knowing where the other stood. That was all they'd wanted, in the end.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
I believe in Karma,  
What you give is what you get returned  
I believe you can't appreciate real love  
Till you've been burned  
I believe the grass is no more greener  
On the other side  
I believe you don't know what you've got  
Until you say goodbye  
  
  
  
~Savage Garden- Affirmation  
  
  
  
  
  
~FIN~  
  
  
  
  
  
Author's Note: CCS is not mine, it belongs to clamp. The only characters I own are the  
Doom Card and the Angel Card.  
  
  
Okay, so how was it? Was it good for a first try or should I just forget about writing ?^^*  
Well, please email me at starviewcom@hotmail.com on comments and stuff, and tell me if  
you thought it was good, okay? I really like getting emails ^_^ So, thanks for reading  
this, thank you so much. Later!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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